Vulnerability and the Power of Compassion

I've often found vulnerability incredibly difficult and saw it as a weakness. Past experiences protected me from showing people my inner world. The inner world, the other half of me, the part of me no one else see's, the 'me' kept tucked away.

I've learned over the years that vulnerability breeds love and compassion for yourself, and for others. Its not something to be afraid of, in fact, showing yourself to others opens the door for them to also become vulnerable, to allow love and compassion to come into their lives. I now see it as a strength not a weakness.

And so here I am, being vulnerable, showing just a little part of myself you wouldn't normally see.

My energy bodywork began when I became a Clinical Reflexologist back in 2014, it was the pivotal turning point and life changing in so many ways. This is it, I thought, my forever career. I could never have imagined 14 years on I'd be writing this and telling the world I'm now a Taiji/Chi Kung Instructor.

I became a reflexologist after being diagnosed with ME in 2010, I left my corporate finance job in IT, I reduced my working week dramatically, and I resigned myself to the fact I was never going to get better. I spent my days in bed researching, and everything I read was pointing to the same conclusion, that this mysterious disease was just that…. mysterious, with no cure.

Life became pretty limiting and I succumb to energy that kept me prisoner. Once a competitive swimmer and triathlete I became depressed, anxious and confined to my bedroom for the most part of my day.

Living in this depleted energy was tough, but, after a few years I realised something had to change if I was to bring up my beautiful boys and enjoy what would be a very active few years with two toddlers. I needed to find something to help me stay active, without too much exertion and to de-stress. I heard meditation was great, but thought with my neurodiversity it was impossible. Then I came across an exercise called tai chi and qigong (chee gong); meditation in motion is stated, interesting I thought; slow movement and meditating, creating energy and peace. Sounded perfect, I was apprehensive but went along to try it out.

It took just one class to feel calm and peaceful. It felt so wonderful to have lasted an entire hour on my feet and I feel great afterwards. I felt tired but didn't relapse into an ME burnout, it was a huge aha moment! I spent almost every day since practicing chi kung, some days I only had 5 mins others much more, but gradually I began to see a difference in my energy and pain levels.

The rest is history….. literally. I've been clear of pain and fatigue for over 5 years, I no longer have ME, my life is finally back on track and all because I took the first step.

So now here I am opening myself, in the hope that you too can see the light at the end of the tunnel, to show you can do it. You really can.